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Q:  What did the leper say to the prostitute?
A:  Keep the tip.
Q:  Why do men masturbate?
A:  Because they want to have sex with someone they love.
Q:  How do you make five pounds of fat look sexy?
A:  Stick a nipple on it.
Q:  What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?
A:  Beel Strokin' off
Q:  Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A:  Drinking on the job.
Q:  What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A:  A brunette with bad breath.
Q:  How do you know if your roommate is gay?
A:  His dick tastes like crap.
Q:  What is the difference between drug dealer and a hooker?
A:  A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q:  Why do women call it PMS?
A:  Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q:  What is a mixed feeling?
A:  When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q:  What is the definition of macho?
A:  Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q:  What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A:  A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q:  Why is divorce so expensive?
A:  Because it is worth it.

Q:  What is a Yankee?
A:  The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q:  What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A:  They both like a tight seal.

Q:  What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A:  Their balls are just for decoration.

Q:  What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A:  About three inches.

Q:  What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A:  Well-hung.

Q:  Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A:  For traction in the mud.

Q:  How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A:  It is not hard.

Q:  How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A:  Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q:  What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A:  45 lbs.

Q:  What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A:  45 minutes

Q:  Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A:  Breasts do not have eyes.

Q:  If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A:  The swallow.

Q:  What is the difference between medium and rare?
A:  Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q:  Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A:  Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Q:  Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A:  They do not have balls to scratch
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