|Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.
|Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: Because they want to have sex with someone they love.
|Q: How do you make five pounds of fat look sexy?
A: Stick a nipple on it.
|Q: What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle?
A: Beel Strokin' off
|Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: Drinking on the job.
|Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
|Q: How do you know if your roommate is gay?
A: His dick tastes like crap.
|Q: What is the difference between drug dealer and a hooker?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: Why do women call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Q: What is a mixed feeling?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: What is the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q: What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it is worth it.
Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A: They both like a tight seal.
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A: About three inches.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
Q: Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A: For traction in the mud.
Q: How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A: It is not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts do not have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They do not have balls to scratch