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The Pentagon recently discovered it had too many generals and offered an early retirement.  Any general who retired would get his/her full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured between any two points of the body.

The first one, an Air Force general, asked to be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.  He got a check for $720,000. 

The second one, an Army general, wanted to be measured from the tip of her upstretched arm to her toes. She walked out with a check for $960,000.

The third general, a grizzled old Marine, wanted to be measured from the tip of his penis to the bottom of his testicles.  The pension man suggested that perhaps he might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice fat checks the two previous generals received. 

The Marine insisted.

So the medical officer proceeded to measure.  He placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and stretched it downward.

"My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"       
The general replied, "In Vietnam."
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